I am here but I am already GONE...

2006-01-20T07:46:00.000-08:00

~~Baffled.~~

tgif

2006-01-13T07:03:00.000-08:00

WooHOo!!!T.G.I.F thee 13th!heheheheheh!

that's just who I am (yeah, am) this week...(: AYos!bat kaya?hehehehe!

Growing notch f*cker!

SEVENTEEN

2006-01-07T01:55:00.000-08:00

17

Being and living:

A life of a dad.

A 24/7 driver.

An inexperienced soldier.

A Jobless Financer.

A Stuggle for being a college student.

A downrigh independent.

A life-problems Connoisseur.

A straddle on a line called reality.

A lovestory that can only be seen on telenovelas.

A playgrounf of angst.

An interminable responsibility.

- - - Have been my life for the past few years- And i am only 17. haaayyy....

It was around 5 pm when i felt my cellphone vibrating on my pocket. At first, the message did not appear as alarming as it really was. It was My ate, asking me to rush her into the nearest hospital. I thought it was just something minor until i arrived home, and saw a girl laying on the floor while scorching in tremendous pain. Don't panic was the first thing that came to my mind. Instinctively, i rushed her to the nearest hospital while trying to contact some not-so-close titos for help because there was no one around (except for an unconcerned maid; my dad is in the states till now) to help us.

And now,here i am,living a life of a single dad, taking care of a 21 YO daughter, paying the hospital bills, sining the hospital waivers, buying fruits in the market for my sick childult (child-adult), etc.Thank God everything turned out fine after everything. (she is still in the hospital though)

As I was approaching my ate the moment i learned how serious the incedent was, I've gotten to realize how much responsibility was put unto my shoulders.Like having to make sure everything is fine n our house, having to know what time my ate will be home, having to know how much is our phone bill, our electic bill, and other oh-so-mature things in that sort. In short Responsibility not just for my ate, our house, our cars etc. but to my entire life as well. Literally, as of now, there's no one guiding my life. It is like Manning a self driven vehicle without even having anyone to guide you. I think aside from the known purposes for the movement of my dad to the US (he'll be back sometime soon, though); it's somehow meant for me to realize the true meaning of independence. It's weird when i hear someone screaming for independence,dont know why exactly, it just is. Perhaps,due to the responsibiltities given to me, i have had too much of independence already.

Here's one thing that i've learned, being downright independent (except economically) is not good at all. Somewhat, it's still better to hear someone nagging at you for going home late or for not going home at all; maybe because i just miss restrictions and the oh-so-kiddo things.

From then on, I started deeming such untimely responsibilities as a burden until i found out that such things would actually benifit me, someday. It's not that easy to explain things here, just try to read between the lines. Oh well, enough said.

Here's one thing funny about that realization, sa tingin ko pwede nako maging tatay?!hehehehehe!

Some pix:

Ironic. A nurse taken cared of a nurse. Yeah, shiz smylin. Ayos!

Zack pat chelsea titan . thank you guyz for being always there...

2006-01-03T06:09:00.000-08:00

Fin'ly, a time to say goodbye to the burdens of the past and start embracing the interminable beauty of tommorow...

The previous year was comparatively fair to me, 365 days of full realizations; not just about some other things but most importantly,realization about some of the eccentricities of my character and of life. Maybe, prior to the things that i've been through the previous year, the innocent started wandering. I started treading out of the unsual run of things, from the reclusive kid to an activist,that is.

I must insinuate how proud i was for the things that i had been through the past year; Insunuation of haughtiness as you may think, but really, I was. You must be wondering why i used the word was...

Stop, relax and contemplate. Those were the words that filled my head during the last hours of year '05. On the impetus of my oh-so-sentimental-moment, one thing streaked on my mind, the your-being strong, experienced, and matured,in reality, should not be based on the things that you have done or been through. Contrary to the popular notion that experience hones a man's sword, I have learned that that very notion is the primary reason of some people's arrogance. Yes, free from any doubt, experience does a lot things, more than any book does; however, the distorted perception of that phrase makes the people think that if you have already been through alot of things - then you're great. Well then, if that is the case, i should be calling my self great. Apparently, the river does not flow that direction of ludicrousness. This realization is the reason why i used the word was on the above mentioned insinuation of haughtiness.

The challenges and predicaments i have faced last year do not guarantee a renewed and a stronger me. No matter how many battles you have been through, no matter how many times you beat Stonecold, no matter how long you have stayed in that crucial game - still, it does prove anything...

Neither how many fights you have picked nor how many things you have started would prove how strong and experienced you really are. It is not as to how or how many battles you have started, rather it is - how you decided to end them...

And now, it is the time to forget the gaffes of the past...it is another time for another chapter... Another set of boundless possibilities...Don't fear the future's great unknown - feel it!!! dont spend too much time on how to start this year - spend time on how to end it!!!

HapPnEwYEar!

***
On a lighter note...

I need a vaction from this vacation!

I have'nt been staying home for the past weeks; Living life as if i were a young executive secured with a high-paying job who can spend and spend without even considering earning. Sometimes i wonder why people rush to grow up and when they grow, they tend to get and act younger than their real age...Oh well, just a thought.

things that have happened for the past weeks.

@ the twins' debut.

ali april and mico

isa jilliane ali april donn kryss

LAban?hahahhaha!kagaguhan.

OyeAs! Go BERN!nyahahahaha!

nothingness @ xav's place

i can feel the enviousness in the air that i can cut it using a kitchen knife! i kno you guys kno wut im sayin here... right miguel?hahahahah!

zack and pat @ CPK town

mico, are you sick? carlo chel and mico

mico lookin constipated with madel and marie (new year's eve)

another constipated looking mico here wit ate

uh-oh!!!here's another one!this time with cookie!hahahaha!

***
random thoughts

*ever since the simbang gabi, i have been practicing a health-friendly-sleeping habit. I eat breakfast (my fisrt meal) aroung 5 pm, my lunch around 11 pm and my dinner around 5 am. haaayyy. rather than hopelessly putting and relentlessly commanding my twitchy head to go to sleep, i opted to appreciate the delights of nocturnal living.

*knina, was a head full of so many things to share here. now - a blank head.bat gnun?

*Havaianas have been ubiquitous lately. i even see some people wearing them at bars during gimmicks

*Contrary to what the conservatives say, paradoxical ecstacy (this aint 'the-illegal-drug') does some good things to us.

*Clubbing without having to spend even a centavo is the coolest thing(not that i'm kuripot). hoy!not freeloading! goin to openbar events lng!heheheh

*DLSU's trimester system sucks big tym. school resumes tom.

some pix again:

marie and mico chillin at pao's friend's bar after the newyear's eve sunlounge event @ rockwell.

some things that alcohol can do.

MerRyCHriStmas!

2005-12-25T06:52:00.000-08:00

Christmas only comes once every year. It is a day that most of the people deem as "a time to get together"; a time for your loved ones, a time best spent with a complete family...

I have been trying to be nonchalant about the fact that things now aren't really like the way it was before. Before, was a table not only occupied by the foods we have prepared but occupied with a complete and bonded family members as well. We used to celebrate christmas the best possible way; an evening full of laughter, Gifts under a well-lit and decorated christmas tree, and the simple thought of spending Our Lord's birthday altogether...

While I was walking, going back home from the misa de gallo, I started to feel the sensation of incompleteness. Despite the new stuff, new clothes, gimicks, outings, money i had received (or been through) still there's this something that was lacking - Family.

The way I celebrated Christmas now is like an inverted pyramid from how we used to celebrate it before. Unlike before, after the noche buena comes the gift giving, afterwhich is the neverending enjoyment of each other's company.It was such a nice feeling going to bed after a transient evening, full of love and happiness. Apparently, things aren't like that anymore. Last night (Christmas eve) I spent my noche buena with manang (our maid), cookie (my ate's dog) and my Ate (some friends came over after). In some little ways, i tried to make the best of things as they are. A Christmas themed table setting and some soothing Christmas song helped lighten the mood.

Sometimes I comtemplate, cguro Christmas isn't only meant for family gatherings, in some way it is also meant for us to realize how important our family is. Whether or not you have a complete family every Christmas, the most important thing here is to give importance to those people who sincerely love you - your family and your friends. Cliche as it may have been that Christmas is nothing more than a date, in reality, Happiness can't be measured by the number of people whom we spend our Christmas with nor the number of gifts we have received for this season; but rather, it is as to what we can actually give to others that weighs more than anything else this season...

***
I could'nt be more grateful for being blessed by God with genuine-friends... I know you guys could've spent more Q-time with your family if you didn't have to come here and celebrate christmas with me. Snaps to titan, chelsea ,zack ,pat and carlo! I owe you guyz big time!!! Couldnt imagine Christmas without you guys ...ThANkS!!!

Anyways, i thought my Christmas would be uneventful. (should i say thanks to manang for scaring the hell out of everyone last night???) don wanna elaborate on this one...basta it was f*ckin frightening!!!

some pix:

Breakfast @ Pancakehouse after the last day of simbang gabi with sina chel pat zack and titan (wasn't able to complete the 9-mornins tho)

titan ate and mico (after eating)

sina marie came over after the misa de gallo (mico marie madel and ate)

chel and mico (sabog - 5:30 am)
*weren't able to take group pix wit sina pat and zack..too bad

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Fading Memories

2005-12-19T07:02:00.000-08:00

As the group woefully waved at each other after a journey of full enjoyment, bliss and yes, despair, reality started thumbing the core of the stone-hearted boy...

As i drive through a busy road going back home, i have gotten to realize thousands of things, things that i've hardly had time to be thankful for. I would be untruthful to myself, and to everyone as well, if im going to say that i never, even once, wished to see our block drifting apart. Perhaps, for the reason that i have had some not-so-good memories, such egotistical thought came across my mind. nonetheless, i pesonally think my journey with you guys would have been tedious without those not-so-good memories.

Maybe, it hasn't hit you yet, but have you realized that in the four corners of our everday lives together - hearts were broken?your feelings toward his/her were formed? conflicts occured? juvinility dawdled? haaaay...now you tell me, is that just something? Siguro, being the secretive person that i am would tell the differences this journey has made to me. Some of you may mull over this journey - with us, as best-left-forgotten. in my case, it just aint... It actually marked the first chapter of adulthood unto me, it was a journey where i have realized the eventual understanding of aloneness- Life, that is.

It was where i got exposed to a vast spectrum of cultures. Like an aviary of personalities, it was in this journey where i've encountered different types of people - from humble to arrogant, droll to annoying , etc. Me being exposed to such diverse universe, a pigment of my personality's enigma was unveiled - boiling point, social adaptation capabilities and some other things in that sort. My short stay with you guys gave me a reason to, sometimes at least, think back on yesterday...

And so, more than anything else, i would like to give my deepest gratitude to everyone. Sa lahat ng bagay bagay, Salamat. at sa lahat ng aking natapakan, Pasensya... Maraming Maraming salamat! this aint Goodbye, it is starting over...

And Now I see friendship where there once was none, now we've just begun...

***

Aryt, enough has been said about the de-blocked thing. Last fri, our block went out of town. Apparently, it was'nt that-uneventful as i thought it would be. it was really fun tho!!!

the girls gettin things started

kwang,mark and elka feeling tha cold breeze

Picture picture before anything else!heheheheh!

the boys (wit rai) gettin things started - as well.

lily beth ---> don dare too much!hehehehhehe!

pizza for dinner, justine, mico, lily and john

decieving? there aint any mirror!!hehe! migs and raemond

only group pic

POgeeee ampota!hahahahaha! jonrae

fin'lly, everyone gettin things started!heheheh! spin tha bottle.

S-A-B-O-G elka and mico

that's so sweet of you, ronald. hahahaha! justine and lily

elka justine and bern wearing la salle's PE uniform.

tha sad side of thee is-to-ree. mico bumped his car sa tree.hehehehe!(pic co justine)

random pix:

geleen, rai, lily, justine, migs and mico @ gmekanaba's set

xmas @ is-kool. sharie ang, elka and mico

...

it's a season to be jolly!!!

2005-11-28T01:58:00.000-08:00

Sina pat just left after the usual sunday sessions...

***
it soothes me...a dimly-lit room...the lights outside all aglow...a bag of chestnuts...the misletoe...cool breeze...haaAyayyy....i am starting to feel the nearness of Christmas...

(yeah, it's edited)
Christmas is my fave season of the year. tho i've been spendin a not-so-blissful-noche-buena for the past 2 years, it has'nt changed yet, still, it is my most anticipated season of the year. Snaps for my friends who've been relentlesly trying to put color on it, at the least...last last week, we started putting up some Xmas decors. above is our not-so-engrandeng-Christmas-tree, didnt get much time to decorate it kaya it ended up - Sabog.

Here's somthing unusual, my Ate (who doesnt really help us in putting up the decors) made herself useful - for the first time! nevertheless, i've realized that our decoration could have looked better without her!heheheheh! after some sweat-staking job, we fin'lly had everythin done...(pic-pic after decoratin the livin room)

Ang kabuuan...

IT'S A SEASON TO BE JOLLY!TRALALALA LALA LALA!aYOS!

Apparently, in my case, things just have'nt been the same. i will still be celebratin Chrismas with my friends. Yes, friends not my family...oh well, dont wana go on this one any further... i guess, i'll just try to make the best of things as they are...

***

wOOooOOhooOO!! no more CWTS!YEsSS!!!!

toobad, i wont be seeing these kids any more...Eto lang, ThAnk YOU! you guys have changed a part of me...somehow...hahahaha! anyhoo, here's the cute part there, jennifer, (the girl n the right most of the pic) asked me for a pic para daw my remembrance sila, so i expected they brought their own camera, so i asked her: cge cge, san camera nyo? as a droll kid that she is, she replied: wala, edi ba my camera naman kayo?ung sa cellphone nyo!!! hahaha!labo! i thought remebrance for them!she meant pala, para matandaan ko daw sila habambuhay!!! hahaha!!!laughtrip!

his excellency, President Bernoulli Fule delivering his final words.

excellency amp!hahaha!

tryna kill him after his provoking speech!hahaha!BAd Boy!!!hahaha!

ismayl elka!ismayl!hehe!Payce!!! (:

***

ok, myt exaggerate a lil' bit on this one.

last wed we watched The exorcism of Emily Rose at greenbelt after our class...and dang!!! it scared the hell out of me! the mere fact that it actually occured to a faithful lady decades ago would be somthing disturbing already!!! i find the acting of emily rose (the one who portrayed her character) better than Julia Robert's acting skills (i aint tryna imply that julia is the best, she just happens to be the highest paid actress in the planet) and the plot!!! dang again! it outshone meet joe black and Gladiator which are my fave movies!!! ok, i admit, its being-a-good-movie is somewhat subjective, if you're the fantantic-thrilling-exciting movie fan, then this one is'nt for you. but if you're the the type of person who prefers substance over anything else, then this one is definitely for you!AYOS!!!

2005-11-05T01:55:00.000-08:00

out of the realm of nothingness... we decided to stay at my place and tried to bring back the good-old-days-of-dvd-blues...armed with a box of pizza, 2 pitchers of iced tea and the usual company; my day ended up well...well, out of the borders of boredom...hehehe!

we were'nt able to finish any movie tho... AYOS! (zack.pat.marchi.chad.titan)

long post

2005-10-31T03:43:00.000-08:00

its taking me aback realizing that my college life has been rather uneventful for the first few months. a month of 'not-blogging' just proved how "potent" a month could possibly be. events were everywhere, realizations started to pile up, conflicts grew... it was a month of full discoveries, i just discovered how strong i really am - opted to make things alot more complicated, chose to tread the long and winding road instead of the smoother one, tried to be as hard as i could possibly be, and the one that i resented the most;i tried being somebody else that i'm really not. perhaps having such deeds would turn the word 'strong' into a more appropriate one - WEAK. call me loser or what ever you may call it. just cant accept the fact that i tried to alter my ago - once again. apex was reached, so as my limit. i dont wanna elaborate this one any further... everything's probably another lap of the race again...however, i thought that everthing that i've done will be a detriment for me,i just proved it wrong, in fact - it brought bliss instead...
***
i missed blogging! i never thought that my blog will be as hard as this to maintain. maybe, just had too much load from school...oh well, here are some things that have happened for the past few weeks:

Last-last-last wednesday, we had this 8-hour break that led everyone doing almost everything just to kill tym.

here's another one (tis one's kinda bad way of killing time tho!hahaha!)

***
fin'lly the uaap season is over! unfortunately the green mob didnt make it up to the end..oh well...at least they tried their best...

the last pic i took (during game 2)
onga pala, our batch just experienced a series of unfortunate events brought to us by the uaap season. first, the embarassing "uncivilized act of asst.mnr salgado" (the batukan incident) then came the "dethroning issue"...labo!

***

elka dancing (during our pe class) was she?hahaha!

ultimate frisbee for LEAP...oh wait, this sport made me start loving the outdoors again!dang!

tha candid moments of Mr.Ralph Ko!hahaha!

THe PETA show. whoa!the play was boring yet cool...i mean the plot of the story...

***
last oct. 17 was my ate's burpday. we ate dinner with some friends and headed back home, it was funny for some reason. don really kno why!hahaha!labo!

oyeas!this pic depicts a band (band from saisaki) singing in front of a family the song that most of the people mull over as the new national anthem - big brother theme song! hahaha!kagaguhan!hahaha!

***

'is this poverty? two beggars lighting each other's cigars after asking for some coins from us. i once red somthing bout this one, that Filipinos are more than willing enough to spend their last centavo on their "luho" than spending it on somthing that would fill their stomachs. i dont kno if i should feel pissed for giving them money to buy cigars or should i feel pity for them for not having the proper mindset for their lives. kaya di umaasenso ang Pinas eh!

***
after a decade of sharing my stories bout the CWTS shiet. at long last ,now here's a pic:

That's teacher Carmela wit some of our students. enough have been said bout these kids...

believe it or not. tis one's candid! i didnt ask for a picture nor asked her to look at the camera! newaise, here's the story behind that innocent smile. Her name's Romelyn, Droll at times, she's one of the active students in our class. However during the impetus of my personal conversation with her, a thousand angles of her innocent smile started to unveil. I once asked her "bakit ka palagi absent?" , she timidly replied "kasi po nilinis ko ung buong bahay at inalagaan ko ung mga kapatid ko". Of course, i'm well aware that during such maudlin conversation, i shouldnt show any sentiment nor expressively show sympathy towards her cuz that would make things worse. "oh?eh bat ikaw ang gumagawa nyan?asan magulang mo?" I modestly replied. She was hesitant at first in telling the real reason but after several seconds she then noted "nagtatarbaho po si mama tapos si papa lasing po eh". I never really thought that things like these really happen in real life. It started breaking my heart thinking that this kid in front of me had so much weight on her shoulders at a very young age. Her dreams of becoming a nurse started to vanish because of the responsibilities given to her by her parents. yes, i know cleaning the house is not such a burden but the fact that A broomstick and a dustpan eats her time and energy instead of having books during her past time;that's really somthing exceptional. haaayy...sad...but true....owww anoder EMO entry!

newaise, here's a very ingenious idea from one of the students:

we devided the students into 4 groups of 4 then we gave them several straws for one of the activities we administered for the workshop shiet. we asked them to create a tower using the straws that they'd been given and whichever group makes the tallest yet stable tower wins the game. see?they didnt use anything there, aside from plastic straws. asteeg!heheh! they didnt make it 'that tall' , it's stable tho!nothingness...ayos!hehehe!

***

product of boredom (during our comp class).

pose amp!another product of boredom...haaayyy. mico and titan

***
after 5 years, another pageant (should i say kagaguhan) came to pass the program routine of my alma matter!hehehe!the UN shiet all over again! the last Miss UN was my ATE pa, she's gratuating from College few months from now and after 5 years, finally the dethronement took place. Last week, she passed the title to the new Miss UN, a senior HS student. That senior student now was just in the 4th grade when my ate won. So it was kinda awkward seeing my ate in a gown , passing the crown and the sash to someone that's years younger than her. If you could only see the reaction of the whole mob when my ate was called to do the catwalk shiet and deliver her speech; it felt somehow odd. syempre, no one knows her ,even the new faculty set. newaise here's a pic:

oyeas! watta constipated smile mico!hahaha!nah, i was tryna piss my Ate by imitating her smile! hahaha!

marchi, millet, and mico while watching the UN shiet. dapat kayo nlang sumali eh!!!hehehe!give chance nga namn!hehehe!

***
its funny how pat and zack leaves (yes they're denoted as one) us . as soon as possible - as in leaving a minute after they arrive?!hahahah!

titan, pat and zack chit chattin for a few seconds...and then as usual, leaving us...!hehehehe!

***
taken after the rain had fallen.

for some reason, i like it better when its raining...its like giving me a natural high or sumtin...AYYY WeirdO!hehehe!

courtesy of carmela ugay...la lang astig eh!hehehe! taken from the roof top of burgandy condo- taft!is that manile de bay?...

***
TRICK OR TREAT!wOOoOHOooOHooO!

shiz loving it! that's chelsea.

It's Halloween !!! Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. I love it when i see kids all dressed up wearing wacky costumes!

a little jap girl wearing a Lilo costume

getting ready (chelsea, pat, titan and zack)

Last day, we went to pat's place in alabang to do the yearly tradition. We gave out lots of candies and received lots as well. ok here's the story. last year, we went to pat's place to help her niece and cuzns do the trick or treat thingy. We did the same thing last night - helped them (unfortunately, we werent able to bring them around the village cuz their parents were there) - gave out candies - and asked for candies as well. it was around 6 pm and the stock of candies we have for the kids started to peter out. So we decided to drive around the village, since pat's cuzn has lots of costume, we decided to bring some with us and try our luck (as far as candies are concerned) wearing them. We were so carried away by joy the candies brought to us and were oblivious that we were actually doing the very same thing the kids were doing - trickortreating! it was fun to act like kids for almost an hour! our basket was almost full of goodies! oww by the way, did i mention that pat and zack actually wore the costumes?

yeah, that's pat (wearing a turtle's back and a frog's head) and zack (tryna look like Darth Vader)

it was tiring yet funday

wildy wild chelsea and the innocent me!hahahaha!innocent amp!

babies up in thier frilliest costume (of course, with their yayas)

stollen???nah!heheheh!

newaise, carlo was there also. too bad he didnt see pat and zack wearing the costumes!hahaha!
all in all, it was really fun...good company and good food (was it???)!hahahaha! enough said!

***TO PAT: i'll send all the pics later aite?hahaha! (:

wake me up when september ends...

2005-10-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

After a strenuous day, fin'lly im home...CWTS... Its such a HASSLE going to a place that you don't really enjoy going to, a place that you may deem as perilous or anything in that sort. such a HASSLE riding the jeepney for like 2 hours, the polluted air, the smell and everything. barely surving from the heat, somtimes we could'nt help it but to burst out our kaartehan. I admit that was so insensitive of me to act/think that way. have I not realized that, HEY!THis is reality!this is THE Philippines!

Most of the time, i find myself regreting for choosing CWTS instead of RO. Why go to the poverty stricken side of our country if you can just pick RO, stay at Lasalle, stand for few hours, and then leave. why make things alot harder?why? haAAy...the reason why i opted CW was because, first, i have had enough of the military thingie way back in HS. Second, i just wanted to go to different places and nothing more than that. But hey!didnt i mention the simple sense of service?service should be the first reason for CW before anything else right?

too bad, i just proved how attached i am to my current world. Up to the point of egocentrism, putting any other things aside, thinking only of the things that would benifit me.How frail of me right? I can still remember one of our tutees saying, kuya diba mayayaman kayo?kasi nasa La Salle kayo eh. said with a discomfited tone, we,of course replied,no!di totoo yan. That opened a conversation about their current status in life. After a few unanswered question, everything turned awkward. It seemed like Poverty led these kids unspoken when it comes to questions about ther current status in life. That triggered my conscience, that from now on, i should be thankul of the things that i had been given and never stop until i already gave more than what i had received...oh well...its getting overemotional...enough said...

***

There will always be this tendncy of being a b*tch whenever you get "b*tched" gets?LABO! Cwts people, i knoe you knoe this...hahahaha!

***

MarrRRRrRga!i mis you!!!!

...as usual, i look constipated here....hahahaha!

post your rant

2005-09-30T23:57:00.000-07:00

thursday evening I was so happy, but now I'm bordering on annoyance and rage!!!

I've been trying to be nice to all of the people that surrounds me. Acting like a stupid martyr ranting on the wall, most of the time i find myself "merely" sneering cuz of anger... but now, enough of being too gentle! i just could'nt resist the ka-"PI"-han of those abusive people!!! OK, it's not that i'm pikon or what ever you may call it. but, i have had ENOUGH!!! or maybe, i'm not really used to having people messing with me. that's too immature for me to handle! The prevailing tendency of being disrespected and reducing one's self to an object for katatawanan for being too nice, has been bugging me for days now!!! I don't wanna use this word, but ~~FUCK~~ those people who are abusing my kindness! As much as posible, i'd like to just keep throwing my smile against their insults, keep all things parallel, keep everything normal but ~~FUCK~~ it! I HAVE HAD MORE THAN ENOUGH!!! I just realized that somtimes, rudeness is a requirement. i dont wanna play the game this way, but YOU ARE obliging me to!!!i aint pertaining to just one person here, you guys know who you are!!! wanna play it this way?sure i will too!!! MYT WANT TO MESS WIT ME?SURE!!!THAT WON'T BE A PROB!!

if i was like THAT before, too bad, not that i want to, but i "have" to be THIS now!!!

coolness

2005-09-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

YM wit elka

elka: san ka ngjoin sa leap? bellydancing?
mico: timang sa frisbee! kaw?sa babymaking noh?hahahaha!
elka: merong gnon? sayang di mo agad cnab...
elka: bat ka ngfrisbee? pang aso un
mico: tukmol! fetch ung sa aso eh
mico: kaw?
elka: gnun din un... pinatinong version lang
elka: ung pangtao version

hahahaha!cool! astig ka elka! hahahaha! (:

road to glory

2005-09-29T23:05:00.000-07:00

KUDOS TO THE TAMARAWS!!!

whatever the time, whatever the place, whatever the age, the De La Salle being on the road to glory seems to bring out the good in every green blooded creature! I dont think the game a while ago was fair nd square, or perhaps this is just one of the side effects of losing one's voice for nothing. a hardtime grabbing the reality, La Salle lost, OK!. Fin'lly belonging to a crowd regardless of the color ( blue/green) is what most of the senior highschool Students look forward to. And now,finally, for the froshies, a leap of ambition is taking place. ambition not just to belong in a crowd, but to belong with the CHAMPIONS! The taft-based legends have been making the green community proud for years now. i just hope that soon in time (before the season 68 ends), I'll be one of those proud people too... oh well, just like the ateneo, win or lose its the school we choose!

Up to the last minute, the green mob yelled ecstatically. So did the tamaraws. but one thing stunned me! i was so dazed on how the tamaraws unleashed their delight for winning! Bottles were flying all over the place! fans, sticks, and even coins soared high! some people got hurt!some ill mannered tamaraws were even whining at us!(cuz we were located somewhere in between the two crowds) isnt that ironic?they won and whined?!hahaha! ok, pls dont get me wrong wit this one, i aint generalizing the tamaraws here nor bashing their moral fiber. but really, SOME of them were really annoying and obnoxious! for fairness' sake, i admit, there were also some lasallians who acted and flowed with the tamaraw's lewdness. more than anything else. THEY WON!pat on the back of the tamaraws!congrats! dont be too happy though... im telling you. DO NOT... (:

some pix:

blockmates candid

mico and mark looking dazed

and of course! the ever so vigorous! GANG GREEN!

oyyy before i forget. Snaps for ms. shimamoto! for letting us watch the game!!!

***nothingness***

here's a picture of me with jelaine cheering and yelling for the ateneo! (uaap season 67)

yes, i used to sit on the blue side when i was still in HS... (:
yeah i knoe, i look stupid here... (:

***
thank God the week's over now...no more quizes!waAAaHOOooO!!!

here you go nangcy!

2005-09-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

Saturday night, it was Nancy's big day...Fin'lly a lady!welcome to the exquisite, but most of the time harsh side of the race!!!

It was really fun. i dont know exactly why. was it because it was our (blockmates) first time to see each other in a diffrent get up?the suits, the gowns, the make over for the girls? the company? or maybe, a combination of everything.

the event was more like a pictorial scene. The click of the cameras (or fon cams) resounded all over the whole venue! and like the most awaited so-called-highlight of Highschool (prom), everyone looked forward to seeing each other at their best! WOW!really, everyone looked so different especially the girls!!!

here are some pix:

of course! the debutante!!! (: NANGCY!

The block looking at its best

mico and jowee

tha BIG boys

CarRmela..mico amp!

the venue (not the one in taft ah hahaha!)

(L to R)bern,mig,ralph,ser,xav,pauleen,dom,elks,lily,rango

mico ralph nd john

mico pauleen elka ian mark and dom (fuzzy)

mico and nangcy tha debutante

Of course! the after partay! here's somethin intresting bout it, most of the people that i dont usually go out wit were there!i min the people that i've never really gotten the chance to go out wit in a place like GB3 during "The saturday nights"...! (: it was really fun havin them wit us!

not just having them around! they drank din! yes they drank! (:

went straight to GB3 after the partay, @ ^ (crocodile)

tha after partay!!!

overall, it was fun!

***
i've realized its kinda demanding to have a blog! its hard to keep it updated!dang!

BarReD Post

2005-09-26T23:07:00.000-07:00

its getting antique, i know....
***
My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again

How could I forget?
Mama said "think before speaking"
No filter in my head
-John mayer
***
I'll update soon!!!

lesson of the day

2005-09-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

i don't think its maudlin to realize how frail we really are when it comes to the things that we, most of the time, despise doing.

I have'nt really gotten much work these days. it was a lenient week. i woke up at around 3 in the afternoon. After having lunch, since i dont have any shcool work to do, for the first time, i decided to vacuum the matting of our car, the one that i use most of the time. The smell trapped inside was like a rotten egg, it was because last night,my ate treated it as if its a boat capable of travelling in the water (baha). To my surprise, it was extremely exhausting!!! yeah! 'merely cleaning the matting' ! so I stopped cleaning it. then i asked manang (our maid) if she can clean it instead. Manang, who've been cleaning the whole house the whole day. Manang, who've been relentlessly washing the clothes the whole time. Manang, whos decades older than me, who have more brittle bones, and Manang who had no choice, but to work as a house maid because of her perseverance to put food in the mouth of her family.

this realization was like a gunshot that killed the bad guy. it somehow, beckoned me to being a better man. I admit it was so insensitive of me to act that way. Honestly speaking, cleaning it felt like hell,the heat,the sweat and everything. take note, i was only doing it for half an hour, just half an hour. But hey! imagine the people doing it for morethan 12 hours, spending half of their daily lives in a job that I mull-over as hell. Scratch the notion that no one wants to be placed on that position, the thing is, as if these people have a choice. but what if in the click of a finger, things turned 180 degrees? what if the wealthy and blessed person that you are now suddenly became the poor dirty boy/girl from the poverty stricken side of the world?you'll never know....

in the end, i found myself in the shadowy corner of the room, thinking how blessed i really am, it is actually the fire of suffering that brings forth of Godliness...

Now, i think i'll be more appreciative on all the things that i had been given... As long as you can do it, do it! dont let that time to come in which doing the things you loathe doing is the only key for your survival...oh well... buhay nga naman....

***

WoOHOo!!!!La salle won! twice to beat advantage!!!KUDOS!!!

2005-09-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

~~PUTANG INA!~~ what a day....

2005-09-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

HAPBURPdAY PAT!!!!

ANIMO LA SALLE!

2005-09-15T23:23:00.000-07:00

school days have been tenuously bleak...im startin to feel the weight on my shoulders...i cant, but to start lurching away from it. i know this feeling is very usual among the peeps at my age,but sadly, we have to live with it...haaaayyy....

there has'nt been any event that could possibly pull the trigger to get me out of the patapon-mode; im actually startin to get tired of it, tired of waiting for that moment. perhaps a failure in any quiz will do (now that's shallow)... lessons learned from the previous term appeared as if it's an unopened box of shoe watin to be used, cuz sooner or later it might not fit with you anymore. it's like studying for nothing, just pass the course and that's it. meager effort will never ever suffice the needs of success. imma try to be more intrepid on all the goals i set now and be twice as resolute.*dream on!!!*things like these are always easier said than done... oh well,*shades on* im foreseeing that mico on a DL(dean's lister)-mode!!! (: *dream on again!!!*...hahahaha! (:

wants or needs???
of course wants!!! nah juz kiddin! (:
english class or ateneo-lasalle?
syempre...
eh since i prioritize studies over anything else...
ateneo-lasalle!!!hahaha!KAGAGUHAN!!! (: oyeas i knoe...my bad ): enuf of the patapon-mode nanga eh!!!but dang!can't help it!!! [for clarification purposes: our prof said that she'll be announcing if there'll be a class or if she's gonna allow us to go to araneta for the game, eh since she didnt inform us ahead of time, we all thought that she'll probably gonna allow us...but the moment we arrived at araneta, one of my blockmates dolefully announced that........now u figure it out! (: ]

anywooooow...

KUDOS to the green archers!!!(: We won!!! our fate in the final four is getting towards our hands now. it seemed like the eagles played scared a while ago( i aint tryna sound grumpy here c: ). was it because of Cabatu's lethal weapon?or was it casio's accuracy? Ateneo, i'm tellin you turnovers can kill. however, its really inexplicable how Ateneo (who beat FEU and UE) cannot beat La salle. could it be Ateneo's dread of the color- green?or wat?or maybe, someone else knows the answer... more than anything else... we won and that's it! (: newaise, here a some pix:

ANIMO LA SALLE!

bluer than blue...

and fin'lly...the score!!! (:

and to Arana: that was really unethical!!! *mad!* i think you should join the pepsquad nalang this saturday (: dun ka na lang sumayaw! bd3p!

2005-09-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

there's this sudden feeling (or thought) that made me feel really anxious,lately. i don know what exactly, but something is amiss...

for sure, there are certain moments in our lives in which the swing of the pendulum is greatly felt. it could be a realization for the better/worse, a difficulty in grabbing reality, or even the fear of the future's great unknown. well, in my case. i think its the first one that has been bothering me for quite awhile. a realization that made a part of the murky sea a bit clearer now, at least.

standing between two absolutely contradicitng universe is'nt a simple thing to do... it could've been the reason for my being-so-radical...

school-house...school-house...school-house...these are two totally different worlds.
school......it is a world for those who never gets contented with the accepted ways, those who despise the old as being stale, constantly welcoming inovation, like worldlings who are always chasing after the latest fashion.[St. Basil the Great]...and my house (home as you may call it) is a world stranded in time. a world of conservatism... having them both as my playground requires a lot. the shcool requires a different mico, a young mico, or should i say the lighter side of mico and on the other hand, my HOME, requires the act-as-old(mature)-as-you-can mode... i hate the fact that "sometimes", this concept is makin me (somehow) act as someone that i'm really not. Its makin my life weighty. but through this, i've gotten to realize that such concept is not makin any other else fooled,but me. at least now im aware of it...just live with it!!!

i'd rather be hated for who I really am, than to be loved for being sombody else....

***
got this somewhere...

kewl!!! (:

2005-09-09T00:02:00.001-07:00

It was really cool tryna bring back the things that we, during our kiddo days loved the most. Somtimes, putting our probs and burdens aside would really benifit us, it'll make us feel 10 years younger!

Last day, we (blockmates) went to a place that most of the kids mull over as "heaven", the enchanted kingdom. However, things seemed a bit different now, i mean look, before enchanted kingdom (for me) is a gigantic theme park; now, its as not-so-big place wit very limited rides. before, i deem their rides as the best in the world; now for me, everything is Ramshackle (now thats exagg c: ). before, for me, EK's entrance fee is overpriced. now, it still is.(: and fin'lly, the truth behind the space shuttle. it's actually not as scary as it looks, wit ol the loops and everything. in short a-not-so-thrilling-ride. i actually find anchors away more thrilling than it, however,if you're an altophobic, don't dare. im tellin its really far above the ground (:
some pix:

thee magic begins...?

bern and ian drenched

MAD!!! >:) (me and carms)

enough of the kiddo rides *shades on* (:

candid 1

candid 2 (wyl having dinner)

anywooo, We all got really DRENCHED!!! f*ck that rio thingy!(: i remember one of the personel there whining at us using a megafon "kung ayaw nyo mabasa wag na kayo sumakay dito!!!"hahaha!onga, actually,she has a point (except for whinining as distressed as that). i admit we were tryna put the seatbelts off para di mabasa. onga, eh bat kaya we rode pa?! newaise, one of my blockmates invested something inside his shoes,what?natural vinegar!ewww gross!!!hindi ba water rapt inside the shoes for a long time will eventually turn into a natural vinegar???KAGAGUHAN!!!hahaha!thats disgusting!!hahahaha! oh well,it was fun tho!(: ----->AYOS!!!

onga pala! for some rison, the whole EK was dominated by the lasallians...maybe, cuz its term break?!might be.... (: just a thought...

RanDom Thoughts...

2005-09-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

***
last night/morning(it was around 5:30 am, yeah i was still up during that time), while i was trying to put my twitchy head to sleep. I turned the TV on, and guess what surprised me! The live coverage of the congress voting shiet at the plenary hall!!! It was literally a non-stop voting for the impeachment case. and,----- it was all "inane"!!!that's it!period! how do you expect a procedural step for the impeachement case to come out? in a country with a distorted sense of democracy?!now you tell me! ( that was somthing weighty huh!)

***
a wyl ago, as i was watching the bigbrother series in a local channel, i heard somthing that caught my attention. "wag ka masyado magiisip, cuz it makes you unhealthy and nakakapangit un". REALLY HUH?! (:

***
is there nething wrong with being too serious in life?or is it just with me? people stereotyped me as some1 who has a deep-seated mind. perhaps, its could be because of the things that i usaully bring up on a normal conversation. onga, as reffered to my previous post, not all things are really meant for normal conversation. sometimes its better if you'll unleash such radical ideas(for them,it is.) through writing... nuthin really...

***
these past few days, i was so oblivious that im gradually turnin into a frustrated phot-o-grapher na pala. I dunno, despite of the poor resolution of my camera fon, still, i keep on taking pictures of sceneries (iono i u'll consider it scenic). here are some:

Product of boredom...taken while i was waitin for my ate

A Christ centered affair

DLSU facade

alma matter (c/o carlo)

thee corinthian columns of Yuchenco hall

Country road (to punta fuego)

tis one is kinda fuzzy (taken while driving)

cookie by the window

candid (poker moments)

***
i HATE chismoso/chismosa people!!! If i were to describe these people, it would be a 3 ft. swimming pool with watter on it(malamng)...why?SHALLOW!!! big people talk about big things, medium people talk about medium things and little people talk about other people!!!haaay...

.......enough said......

loathesome

2005-09-05T02:40:00.000-07:00

writing has never been my passion. in fact i loathe it!

i can still hark back to nighmarish memories during my kiddo days ,in which teachers are more than willing enough to amputate the hands of their students if they don't copy shiets on the blackboard...at the end of the day, you'll notice somthing gross growing in yer fingers, an extra thick skin, called "kalyo"...hahahaha!

(taken during d' midst of our sufferings from our physics classes)

However, astoundingly, what interests me lately, and what directed me here, in the blogging world is'nt writing per se. Its putting my thoughts and ideas into letters. Thoughts that if verbalized in an ordinary conversation, would let other people think you're truly weird... :
haaAAy...not really in the mood to write today...

im on high!

2005-09-04T04:11:00.000-07:00

is there anything better than getting a natural high?*shades on*

last night we celebrated titan's burpday, and i admit it was just an "OK" party... no one got drunk...no bad stuff!*breath in*...we just chilled.roadtrip. but one thing gave me a natural high and made alot of difference...thee Good company. everyone was there except for 2 murderers of joy!!! I got so amazed of the fact that tho each and every1 of us has a college peer groups already, at the end of the road, in layman's term,kami kami parin!!! we've been unknowingly seeing each other every week ,regularly,still. I mean, look, despite of the mere fact that everyone's in college already, and now considered one of the busy people, yet we still find time to meet up and talk about the the episodes in their lives...cool huh! people say gaps are inevitable. But hey!im startin to prove that gaps are actually avertable! I think it's just a matter of prioritizing things in your life...well,I prioritize them, i just hope they prioritize me as well..hahaha!

***

taken out of nothing

Marchie.pat.karla (girls lang daw eh)

mico nd chelsea

movie trip 2m (later pala) woohoo!!!keep it safe!

NOCTURNAL-ism

2005-09-03T15:47:00.000-07:00

HaAaayyY ...I had just Woken up from a long tiring 10 hrs sleep... yeah, it was tiring. have you ever experienced that ironic feeling, feeling exhausted just after you woke up?sleeping is somewhat (for me) strenuous. Newaise, how can i f*ckin change my f*ckin sleepin habit?deym!i hate it! sleep at5 am and wake up at 3 pm... sometimes i like it better pag may skul. at least you'll be urged to sleep cuz of the simple thought of...there's skul 2m... isnt it wierd???! whenevr there's skul nman, we tend not to think of the thought that there's skul 2m and wish that there'll be no classes the following day...Oh well..just a thought...

Sleep hard=Party hardest!!!hahahahaha! Snaps fo titan!dude!look, som1's allgrown up already...!KidDO!hahahaha!stay safe!!!

thee REAL WORLD???

2005-09-02T20:44:00.000-07:00

1 term has passed and i still could'nt hook mai self to the real world...

I still remember that night, lying half-awake in my bed, thinkin what college holds for me, anticipatin lots of things that i could possibly encounter... I lay there in the endless hours of the dawn thinking ahead of time...

three months ago, we were like candies strewn accross a new dimension. a dimension that's inscrutable to most(peeps at out age). Most of the people say this new world concept is actually a Hello to the hardships and trials in life. It is somewhat synonymous with the world hell. But to my surprise, just after my initial stay in college, i've found out that the so called real word is actually just like the world that we've been used to, in which our burdens and torturers are the...other people. the only difference is that we are now exposed to more options.

I expected a lot of things from college... just like wat everyone did, I expected a lot of new people. a new environment,that is. New people that, soon in time, will become yer 2nd barkada. however, my expectation entailed different things as well; like the word mature. but sadly thngs ryt now seemed a bit different from what i expected. Oh yes, i hav these bunch of wonderful people who i share most of my time wit. But there was something missing...Respect. there were some people i've encountered that are'nt mature enough to understand the meaning of the word respect.They're givin me ample reason to long for my Real-peers . Please dont get me wrong on this one,I aint tryna bash anyone here. there were just some things that led me to frozen silence. I think Its better not to talk to those people that you are'nt really comfy wit than to give those people reason to disrespect you...it'll never be your lost tho. Oh well, at least for some,Im currently having this So-far-So-good feeling. nuthin really..just a thought.

now i am manning a self driven vehicle, and i hope it'll go places...Peaceout!

nga pala, there's no such thing as the real world... (:

wow!new layout!

2005-09-01T04:34:00.000-07:00

woohoo!!!

High Blogging Impact

2005-08-31T03:38:00.000-07:00

Blogging...blogging...blogging...

unlike before, it's something that most of us were oblivious to, something that's hidden around tha corner of this intricate "net-world", somthing that we put aside...and now, with just a click of our fingers, it became a phenomena...a craze, that is.

oyeas, i've been blogging for more than a quarter of a year now, it's just now that decided to let people see it. i've been lurking around this "blog-world-thingie" for more than a year now, i just love seeing other people's ideas, just wana enjoy the web to the fullest, and nothing more than that.

as i was looking around and reading other peep's blog (as usaul). i came across with a lot of very substancial posts,practical post,coming from peole ranging from the usual wandering teenager from a person who've been through everythin a normal teenager could posibly have been through; and now confused of what life is really all about.

i've gotten to realize that reading blogs is'nt really just about knowing tha things that are running through their unique brains, it isnt just about killing time. I think there is something beyond that. well, for me, at least, reading other peep's blog isnt "merely-reading", for me " its-seeing". Seeing what life is for them, seeing their lives, i believe its something that would involve you in their lives,it'll make your instincs work,it'll make your think like oonga no?!,it'll make you react like crazy without yourself kwowing it, it'll make you a critic in an instant, its like being in a scenario of their lives.

It's amazing how people(i'm speaking for myself) can actually be greatly affected by other peep's lives by "merely-reading" their blogs... haAAyyy....

its 3:30 in the mornin and im still here...( i'll fix mai layout ASAP...wish i could! C: )

at last...

2005-08-30T02:14:00.000-07:00

after a few months of blogging...i've fin'lly decided to share my thoughts...to share my ideas...to share my life.... haAAaaAyYYyy...