Baffled.

tgif

WooHOo!!!T.G.I.F thee 13th!heheheheheh!

that's just who I am (yeah, am) this week...(: AYos!bat kaya?hehehehe!

Growing notch f*cker!

SEVENTEEN

17


Being and living:

A life of a dad.

A 24/7 driver.

An inexperienced soldier.

A Jobless Financer.

A Stuggle for being a college student.

A downrigh independent.

A life-problems Connoisseur.

A straddle on a line called reality.

A lovestory that can only be seen on telenovelas.

A playgrounf of angst.

An interminable responsibility.

- - - Have been my life for the past few years- And i am only 17. haaayyy....

It was around 5 pm when i felt my cellphone vibrating on my pocket. At first, the message did not appear as alarming as it really was. It was My ate, asking me to rush her into the nearest hospital. I thought it was just something minor until i arrived home, and saw a girl laying on the floor while scorching in tremendous pain. Don't panic was the first thing that came to my mind. Instinctively, i rushed her to the nearest hospital while trying to contact some not-so-close titos for help because there was no one around (except for an unconcerned maid; my dad is in the states till now) to help us.

And now,here i am,living a life of a single dad, taking care of a 21 YO daughter, paying the hospital bills, sining the hospital waivers, buying fruits in the market for my sick childult (child-adult), etc.Thank God everything turned out fine after everything. (she is still in the hospital though)

As I was approaching my ate the moment i learned how serious the incedent was, I've gotten to realize how much responsibility was put unto my shoulders.Like having to make sure everything is fine n our house, having to know what time my ate will be home, having to know how much is our phone bill, our electic bill, and other oh-so-mature things in that sort. In short Responsibility not just for my ate, our house, our cars etc. but to my entire life as well. Literally, as of now, there's no one guiding my life. It is like Manning a self driven vehicle without even having anyone to guide you. I think aside from the known purposes for the movement of my dad to the US (he'll be back sometime soon, though); it's somehow meant for me to realize the true meaning of independence. It's weird when i hear someone screaming for independence,dont know why exactly, it just is. Perhaps,due to the responsibiltities given to me, i have had too much of independence already.

Here's one thing that i've learned, being downright independent (except economically) is not good at all. Somewhat, it's still better to hear someone nagging at you for going home late or for not going home at all; maybe because i just miss restrictions and the oh-so-kiddo things.

From then on, I started deeming such untimely responsibilities as a burden until i found out that such things would actually benifit me, someday. It's not that easy to explain things here, just try to read between the lines. Oh well, enough said.

Here's one thing funny about that realization, sa tingin ko pwede nako maging tatay?!hehehehehe!

Some pix:

Ironic. A nurse taken cared of a nurse. Yeah, shiz smylin. Ayos!


Zack pat chelsea titan . thank you guyz for being always there...

Fin'ly, a time to say goodbye to the burdens of the past and start embracing the interminable beauty of tommorow...

The previous year was comparatively fair to me, 365 days of full realizations; not just about some other things but most importantly,realization about some of the eccentricities of my character and of life. Maybe, prior to the things that i've been through the previous year, the innocent started wandering. I started treading out of the unsual run of things, from the reclusive kid to an activist,that is.

I must insinuate how proud i was for the things that i had been through the past year; Insunuation of haughtiness as you may think, but really, I was. You must be wondering why i used the word was...

Stop, relax and contemplate. Those were the words that filled my head during the last hours of year '05. On the impetus of my oh-so-sentimental-moment, one thing streaked on my mind, the your-being strong, experienced, and matured,in reality, should not be based on the things that you have done or been through. Contrary to the popular notion that experience hones a man's sword, I have learned that that very notion is the primary reason of some people's arrogance. Yes, free from any doubt, experience does a lot things, more than any book does; however, the distorted perception of that phrase makes the people think that if you have already been through alot of things - then you're great. Well then, if that is the case, i should be calling my self great. Apparently, the river does not flow that direction of ludicrousness. This realization is the reason why i used the word was on the above mentioned insinuation of haughtiness.

The challenges and predicaments i have faced last year do not guarantee a renewed and a stronger me. No matter how many battles you have been through, no matter how many times you beat Stonecold, no matter how long you have stayed in that crucial game - still, it does prove anything...

Neither how many fights you have picked nor how many things you have started would prove how strong and experienced you really are. It is not as to how or how many battles you have started, rather it is - how you decided to end them...

And now, it is the time to forget the gaffes of the past...it is another time for another chapter... Another set of boundless possibilities...Don't fear the future's great unknown - feel it!!! dont spend too much time on how to start this year - spend time on how to end it!!!

HapPnEwYEar!

***
On a lighter note...

I need a vaction from this vacation!

I have'nt been staying home for the past weeks; Living life as if i were a young executive secured with a high-paying job who can spend and spend without even considering earning. Sometimes i wonder why people rush to grow up and when they grow, they tend to get and act younger than their real age...Oh well, just a thought.

things that have happened for the past weeks.


@ the twins' debut.


ali april and mico


isa jilliane ali april donn kryss


LAban?hahahhaha!kagaguhan.


OyeAs! Go BERN!nyahahahaha!


nothingness @ xav's place


i can feel the enviousness in the air that i can cut it using a kitchen knife! i kno you guys kno wut im sayin here... right miguel?hahahahah!


zack and pat @ CPK town


mico, are you sick? carlo chel and mico


mico lookin constipated with madel and marie (new year's eve)


another constipated looking mico here wit ate


uh-oh!!!here's another one!this time with cookie!hahahaha!

***
random thoughts

*ever since the simbang gabi, i have been practicing a health-friendly-sleeping habit. I eat breakfast (my fisrt meal) aroung 5 pm, my lunch around 11 pm and my dinner around 5 am. haaayyy. rather than hopelessly putting and relentlessly commanding my twitchy head to go to sleep, i opted to appreciate the delights of nocturnal living.

*knina, was a head full of so many things to share here. now - a blank head.bat gnun?

*Havaianas have been ubiquitous lately. i even see some people wearing them at bars during gimmicks

*Contrary to what the conservatives say, paradoxical ecstacy (this aint 'the-illegal-drug') does some good things to us.

*Clubbing without having to spend even a centavo is the coolest thing(not that i'm kuripot). hoy!not freeloading! goin to openbar events lng!heheheh

*DLSU's trimester system sucks big tym. school resumes tom.

some pix again:


marie and mico chillin at pao's friend's bar after the newyear's eve sunlounge event @ rockwell.


some things that alcohol can do.

MerRyCHriStmas!

Christmas only comes once every year. It is a day that most of the people deem as "a time to get together"; a time for your loved ones, a time best spent with a complete family...

I have been trying to be nonchalant about the fact that things now aren't really like the way it was before. Before, was a table not only occupied by the foods we have prepared but occupied with a complete and bonded family members as well. We used to celebrate christmas the best possible way; an evening full of laughter, Gifts under a well-lit and decorated christmas tree, and the simple thought of spending Our Lord's birthday altogether...

While I was walking, going back home from the misa de gallo, I started to feel the sensation of incompleteness. Despite the new stuff, new clothes, gimicks, outings, money i had received (or been through) still there's this something that was lacking - Family.

The way I celebrated Christmas now is like an inverted pyramid from how we used to celebrate it before. Unlike before, after the noche buena comes the gift giving, afterwhich is the neverending enjoyment of each other's company.It was such a nice feeling going to bed after a transient evening, full of love and happiness. Apparently, things aren't like that anymore. Last night (Christmas eve) I spent my noche buena with manang (our maid), cookie (my ate's dog) and my Ate (some friends came over after). In some little ways, i tried to make the best of things as they are. A Christmas themed table setting and some soothing Christmas song helped lighten the mood.

Sometimes I comtemplate, cguro Christmas isn't only meant for family gatherings, in some way it is also meant for us to realize how important our family is. Whether or not you have a complete family every Christmas, the most important thing here is to give importance to those people who sincerely love you - your family and your friends. Cliche as it may have been that Christmas is nothing more than a date, in reality, Happiness can't be measured by the number of people whom we spend our Christmas with nor the number of gifts we have received for this season; but rather, it is as to what we can actually give to others that weighs more than anything else this season...

***
I could'nt be more grateful for being blessed by God with genuine-friends... I know you guys could've spent more Q-time with your family if you didn't have to come here and celebrate christmas with me. Snaps to titan, chelsea ,zack ,pat and carlo! I owe you guyz big time!!! Couldnt imagine Christmas without you guys ...ThANkS!!!

Anyways, i thought my Christmas would be uneventful. (should i say thanks to manang for scaring the hell out of everyone last night???) don wanna elaborate on this one...basta it was f*ckin frightening!!!

some pix:


Breakfast @ Pancakehouse after the last day of simbang gabi with sina chel pat zack and titan (wasn't able to complete the 9-mornins tho)


titan ate and mico (after eating)


sina marie came over after the misa de gallo (mico marie madel and ate)


chel and mico (sabog - 5:30 am)
*weren't able to take group pix wit sina pat and zack..too bad

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Fading Memories

As the group woefully waved at each other after a journey of full enjoyment, bliss and yes, despair, reality started thumbing the core of the stone-hearted boy...

As i drive through a busy road going back home, i have gotten to realize thousands of things, things that i've hardly had time to be thankful for. I would be untruthful to myself, and to everyone as well, if im going to say that i never, even once, wished to see our block drifting apart. Perhaps, for the reason that i have had some not-so-good memories, such egotistical thought came across my mind. nonetheless, i pesonally think my journey with you guys would have been tedious without those not-so-good memories.

Maybe, it hasn't hit you yet, but have you realized that in the four corners of our everday lives together - hearts were broken?your feelings toward his/her were formed? conflicts occured? juvinility dawdled? haaaay...now you tell me, is that just something? Siguro, being the secretive person that i am would tell the differences this journey has made to me. Some of you may mull over this journey - with us, as best-left-forgotten. in my case, it just aint... It actually marked the first chapter of adulthood unto me, it was a journey where i have realized the eventual understanding of aloneness- Life, that is.

It was where i got exposed to a vast spectrum of cultures. Like an aviary of personalities, it was in this journey where i've encountered different types of people - from humble to arrogant, droll to annoying , etc. Me being exposed to such diverse universe, a pigment of my personality's enigma was unveiled - boiling point, social adaptation capabilities and some other things in that sort. My short stay with you guys gave me a reason to, sometimes at least, think back on yesterday...

And so, more than anything else, i would like to give my deepest gratitude to everyone. Sa lahat ng bagay bagay, Salamat. at sa lahat ng aking natapakan, Pasensya... Maraming Maraming salamat! this aint Goodbye, it is starting over...



And Now I see friendship where there once was none, now we've just begun...

***

Aryt, enough has been said about the de-blocked thing. Last fri, our block went out of town. Apparently, it was'nt that-uneventful as i thought it would be. it was really fun tho!!!


the girls gettin things started


kwang,mark and elka feeling tha cold breeze


Picture picture before anything else!heheheheh!


the boys (wit rai) gettin things started - as well.


lily beth ---> don dare too much!hehehehhehe!


pizza for dinner, justine, mico, lily and john


decieving? there aint any mirror!!hehe! migs and raemond


only group pic


POgeeee ampota!hahahahaha! jonrae


fin'lly, everyone gettin things started!heheheh! spin tha bottle.


S-A-B-O-G elka and mico


that's so sweet of you, ronald. hahahaha! justine and lily


elka justine and bern wearing la salle's PE uniform.


tha sad side of thee is-to-ree. mico bumped his car sa tree.hehehehe!(pic co justine)

random pix:

geleen, rai, lily, justine, migs and mico @ gmekanaba's set


xmas @ is-kool. sharie ang, elka and mico

...

it's a season to be jolly!!!

Sina pat just left after the usual sunday sessions...

***
it soothes me...a dimly-lit room...the lights outside all aglow...a bag of chestnuts...the misletoe...cool breeze...haaAyayyy....i am starting to feel the nearness of Christmas...


(yeah, it's edited)
Christmas is my fave season of the year. tho i've been spendin a not-so-blissful-noche-buena for the past 2 years, it has'nt changed yet, still, it is my most anticipated season of the year. Snaps for my friends who've been relentlesly trying to put color on it, at the least...last last week, we started putting up some Xmas decors. above is our not-so-engrandeng-Christmas-tree, didnt get much time to decorate it kaya it ended up - Sabog.


Here's somthing unusual, my Ate (who doesnt really help us in putting up the decors) made herself useful - for the first time! nevertheless, i've realized that our decoration could have looked better without her!heheheheh! after some sweat-staking job, we fin'lly had everythin done...(pic-pic after decoratin the livin room)

Ang kabuuan...

IT'S A SEASON TO BE JOLLY!TRALALALA LALA LALA!aYOS!

Apparently, in my case, things just have'nt been the same. i will still be celebratin Chrismas with my friends. Yes, friends not my family...oh well, dont wana go on this one any further... i guess, i'll just try to make the best of things as they are...

***

wOOooOOhooOO!! no more CWTS!YEsSS!!!!


toobad, i wont be seeing these kids any more...Eto lang, ThAnk YOU! you guys have changed a part of me...somehow...hahahaha! anyhoo, here's the cute part there, jennifer, (the girl n the right most of the pic) asked me for a pic para daw my remembrance sila, so i expected they brought their own camera, so i asked her: cge cge, san camera nyo? as a droll kid that she is, she replied: wala, edi ba my camera naman kayo?ung sa cellphone nyo!!! hahaha!labo! i thought remebrance for them!she meant pala, para matandaan ko daw sila habambuhay!!! hahaha!!!laughtrip!

his excellency, President Bernoulli Fule delivering his final words.

excellency amp!hahaha!

tryna kill him after his provoking speech!hahaha!BAd Boy!!!hahaha!

ismayl elka!ismayl!hehe!Payce!!! (:

***

ok, myt exaggerate a lil' bit on this one.

last wed we watched The exorcism of Emily Rose at greenbelt after our class...and dang!!! it scared the hell out of me! the mere fact that it actually occured to a faithful lady decades ago would be somthing disturbing already!!! i find the acting of emily rose (the one who portrayed her character) better than Julia Robert's acting skills (i aint tryna imply that julia is the best, she just happens to be the highest paid actress in the planet) and the plot!!! dang again! it outshone meet joe black and Gladiator which are my fave movies!!! ok, i admit, its being-a-good-movie is somewhat subjective, if you're the fantantic-thrilling-exciting movie fan, then this one is'nt for you. but if you're the the type of person who prefers substance over anything else, then this one is definitely for you!AYOS!!!